1 lousy bit of lad lit to make nick hornby so sad

Calendula and grapefruit, she said. That should fix you. She placed the brown glass bottle on the bench. Take it twice a day, breakfast and dinner. Say four weeks.
Then I come back and see you?
Yeah. She smiled. Then, if it’s not okay, we’ll have to opt for surgery.
Surgery?
Sure. We’ll remove a leg first, see if that makes a difference, then go from there. Maybe try an arm.
I laughed. She was pretty. In that hippy, loose hair, clear eyes kind of way. I thought about asking her out, but remembered the whole embargo on doctor-patient relationships.
I picked up the bottle and moved it up and down in my hand. as if such an act would prove me impressive.
You break it, you pay for it, she said.
I stopped and looked at the bottle, noticed the label was handwritten. Are you even a doctor, I wanted to ask, but I just laughed again, clearly nervous. She smirked.
Maybe there was no rule with these people.
So you’ll give it a go, she said.
I told her yes, I'd give it a go.