i only talk to myself

Me: Tegan, you've just arrived in San Francisco and it's early. You've got the whole day. What would you like to do?
Me: Get a coffee. And a bran muffin.
Me: But you've already had breakfast. You're not hungry.
Me: I know. But I love them. I must.
Me: Well, okay, it's your holiday, I guess. But you know you're getting unhealthier, slower, laaaaaazier by the minute.
Me: I know...
Sad face.
Me: But I'm so happy!
Happy face.
Me: Please don't take it away from me.
Me: Tegan, it's not the bran muffin that's making you happy.
Me: Maybe.
Thinks.
Me: But, at the very least, the bran muffin - with its berry sweetness, tempered by the warm, almost nutty oatiness, and the crunchy top, oh! - is a perfect representation of that happiness. Wouldn't you say?
Me: Well, when you put it like that...
Me: Look! There's a store there, just across the road!
Me: Excellent. We don't even have to walk far.