old lives

It musta been back then when Annie was workin in the shop. We had four kids then. I wanted nother one, but Annie didn. Just got them off to school, new pencil boxes and socks. White socks too. Girls were real happy. Then, o course Annie was wantin some socks too. She had to work too now, she said. She had to wear shoes day in day out, and the blisters they don’t go real easy on her just cos she’s a lady. Softer skin, you know. And I said course not darlin, you’re no lady at all. She whacked me fair cross the head then. So I gave her a bit and out she went. Course, she coulda went herself, just like that, with the shop job and all, but she was a right wife, comin to me first like that. I kissed her on the cheek.

Yes. It musta been when Annie was workin in the shop because I definitely thought oh she’s a right wife.

I was headin out to the tracks that day, set up camp for the week. Wasn far. Over the east bridge was all. Jack himself coulda get there. Not that he wanna be goin round by himself. Flash floods we had to look out for. Come right up over the edge, all that water. Unless you bigger than six foot you just get washed up, right back into that river. Not much water there now though. No fishing or nothing. Ha! Back then, you get in those flood waters and suddenly you a fish too, waitin to be reeled in. I never found a dead one, meself, but I know stories. This old man, he full of stories. Believe?

Now the last time I’d been up there I’d had a right time. I kept the line in the river, checkin on it every half hour or so, and got meself plenty fish. Fish real edible and good too. Not all for me, I had a family to provide. No trainspottin by the river was gonna stop me from feedin my family. She oughta known that.

Jack and Leanne would wander down after school, pick up the bucket for Annie. Always impressed by my fishin skills, they were. Always thought of their old man as the best fisher round I reckon. They’d carry it back holding the bucket between em. I could hear them laughin and yabbin away even after I couldn see em. Made me feel real good inside, right down me belly, to see em like that. I’d have a beer, shame not real cold though, and think how good life is.

You hear the bell ring, a great clanger of a thing it was, and I was thinkin I’ll see Jack and Leanne scramblin up over the hill. But they didn come that day, much as I wait. Got a whole big bucket for em, and they don come. Wondered what to do with all the fish. Already gutted, couldn throw back. So I waitin, have a few beers more, and before I know, its dark and I think I’m drunk by the river.

Water, it swells and swells back. Stars wink at me. Musta been when Annie was workin in the shop.

Had a right sleep that night, ready up for fishin next day. Was so hot, I remember, had to take my shirt off, go for walk in the river. Jack and Ben woulda liked it, so cool, fish between your legs, round your knees. Coulda caught em right there with your bare hands if you wanted to. Girls wouldna liked it. Squealin, playin up, actin like girls. Ha! Little darlins.

Didn come that afternoon either, after the bell. Waited, waited. Had a bit of fish all ready for em too. Not like yesterday but a good show. They gotta come and take the fish, bring my beer. Only take a day or two’s supply, you know, so don’t run out. But where are these kids?

I think I’m there for a good while. Then the fish is rotten and the smell starts to get real bad, can’t hang round there no more. Go into town, pick up some beer, see Annie. Think the kids may have fever with something. Always were gettin sick that lot, playin in the rain but you tell em not to.

This old man he’s wrong, but, you know.

I go into the house that day and it’s quiet as anything. I’m lookin in the beds, all neat and made, the kitchen all clean, bathroom. Annie, she good at the house, she a right wife I thought. Found a pair nice black socks on the table. Black a nice respectable colour for a man, Annie always said. I tried them on then and there, a right fit they were. Annie always knew. She left some change with the socks and I sat there countin it, over and over, count it a good numbera times, waitin for me family. Thought we’d have a nice dinner together. I have a beer or two, just while I’m waitin, it’s a tirin thing waitin is, and then its dark, and I think I’m drunk on the table.

I never hear a sound and no one never comes. Musta been while Annie was workin in the shop.

You put good money in a woman’s hand and your whole life falls apart, that’s what. That’s true, I tell. She head off to work, that apron showin the nice curve of her hips, she was pretty all right, a right wife I thought, and she never come back. Never come back.